Tag Archives: Vallis

Haywired (Chocolate Mousse)

My spacecraft  went straight to Earth — landing me in Ghana,  West Africa on a  fair trade, chocolate farm.  Oh… the chocolate mousse they made me!   It was worth the trip.  — Todo

Super Easy Chocolate Mousse

2 1/2 cups heavy cream

2 Tbsp. sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

8 oz. bittersweet chocolate, chopped

Whip 1 1/2 cups heavy cream with sugar and vanilla.  Reserve/set aside about 1/2 cup whipped cream to dollop on top of finished mousse later.  Add remaining (un-whipped) 1 cup heavy cream to a saucepan. Bring to a boil.  Remove from heat.  Add chocolate.  Stir until blended.  Cool to nearly room temperature.  Fold  chocolate into whipped cream to make mousse.   Transfer mousse to 6 glasses or ramekins.  Cover with plastic wrap.  Refrigerate for at least 1 hour.  Serve with reserved whipped cream dolloped on top.

chocolate mousse by Akuokuo Vallis

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Confession (Refried Beans)

Ok.  Here’s what happened.  I, Pepper Stokes, was late for my paper route.  It was real early— maybe 3:30 or 4:00 in the morning.  I was late.  I mean real late.

I had to get to the newspaper depot quick.  So, I drove fast.  Real fast.  My lights weren’t even  on.

Then out from nowhere, this little— some—thing— jumped out in front of me.  I slammed on the brakes, switched on the lights and backed up a little.  “Lord, Jesus, just make it be well!”

Next thing I saw — there’s this little grayish-purplish-greenish-big-head-black-eyed-non-human-creature crawling on the hood of my truck.  I don’t know if it was an ET or an alien.   I knew it wasn’t an armadillo.  I reached for anything I could.  I only had my snack baggie of tortilla chips and refried beans.   I forgot the guacamole and salsa at home.  I was so late.  Anyway, I put the little ET guy on the side of the road with my snack pack.  I made sure it was ok.  Then, off I went.   I was real late.

Refried Beans

2 Tbsp. olive oil

1 shallot, chopped

2 garlic cloves, chopped

1 14 oz. can  pinto beans, including liquid

1 Tbsp. sour cream

salt

pepper

Heat oil in medium size sauce pot.  On medium-low heat, cook shallot and garlic for 3-5 minutes or until tender and lightly browned.  Add beans.  Mash beans with a large spoon or potato masher.  Add sour cream.  Season with salt and pepper.  Allow mixture to thicken on low heat for 3-5 minutes.  Serve with tortilla chips and salsa.

garlichead by Akuokuo Vallis

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Ape House (Applesauce)

Marcia Flemming has no patience for people who claim they have been abducted by aliens from outer space, or any such nonsense.  “I consider myself a rational person,” she says as she tosses an apple slice to Lulu, a beautiful jet black 5 year old female ape.  Marcia Flemming is her caretaker.

Marcia has taught Lulu everything she knows.  Even sign language.  This is how they communicate.  This is also how Lulu told Marcia  about her travels to outer space and the many extraterrestrial visitors that have visited her inside the ape house at the zoo.

“When Lulu first started mentioning all this stuff, I thought someone had brought in a television and maybe showed Lulu  a few too many alien shows.   But when I noticed a change in her eating habits, I knew this was more than just t.v. talk.  Something must have truly happened to Lulu.  I believe her alien stories.”

Marcia described an afternoon 3 years ago, when she was ready to feed Lulu lunch.  Reportedly, Lulu stood up on her legs and lifted her hands and head upward.  She then signed a message to Marcia that Marcia knew she must have mistaken.  “You say aliens, little ladybugs, came and abducted you and took you back to their planet and made you high priestess of their cooking church?  A cooking church?” Marcia repeatedly questioned her.

Lulu said she didn’t want to go back to their planet because they did weird experiments on her and made her eat all kinds of strange stuff.  Then they asked her to describe what she liked or disliked about the food.   According to Ms. Fleming, Lulu is also a master of “far-sight” or “remote viewing.”  She can see distances not normally possible without high powered lenses  — distances that are thousands of miles away.  Lulu says she can see that the aliens are making their way back to Earth.  They want her to travel the universe in their “High-Priestess-of-the-Cooking-Church” lecture tour.  Lulu is so afraid of these aliens that she has  asked to be bleached white.   She wants to hide in the polar bear exhibit until “the aliens find some other high priestess to pick on.”

As Marcia related the story, Lulu started breathing very heavily and beating her chest.  She smeared applesauce all over herself and  hid underneath a white floor mat.

Applesauce

4  granny smith apples, peeled, cored and chopped

1/2 cup water

3 Tbsp. sugar

Place chopped apples in a saucepan.  Add 1/2 cup water.   Stir in sugar.  Bring to a boil.  Cook on medium-low heat for 15-20 minutes or until tender.  Remove from heat.   Mash apples with a  large fork or potato masher.  Add more sugar, if desired.  Can be served warm, room temperature or cold.

apples

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Alien Inspired (sautéed corn)

Alien inspired makeup is everywhere these days.  From bold multi-colored lips to strong eyes— this season is no time to be shy.  And… it’s a lot easier than you think to duplicate those extra large eyes and candy colored  lips.  It was not too long ago that words like “alienesque” and “clownish” connoted silvery-skin undertones and a lip-smacking drip of red paint splattered all over  the mouth.  Now, however,  alienesque means the highest of haute couture and clownish means, “Honey, you have a-r-r-i-v-e-d!”  Thanks to “mega-mega-mega” stars Kokiko and Jillie-B,  those sisters from Hinyo planet, we can all learn a thing or two about being proud of our uniqueness.   Now that Kokiko and Jillie-B have their own make-up line out (K-J-B Color Box)–all we have to do is connect the dots and, voila–we too can  have the look!  What could be simpler?  When asked what the inspiration for this season’s color palette was, Kokiko explains, “My mother’s sautéed corn.  All of our 6 foundation shades are derived from mom’s favorite recipes.  For the lips–we were inspired by mom’s frosting!   Mother prefers candy pink, but we’ve added a few other pastels for contrast.”  Jillie-B emphasizes that,  “It is ok, ladies, to wear stripes on your lips!”  As an added bonus, K-J-B Color Box has 5 of their mom’s favorite recipes  on the back of each K-J-B Color Box product.  Thanks to Kokiko and Jillie-B,  we can now look and even cook like aliens too!

Sautéed Corn

1 Tbsp. butter, unsalted

1 Tbsp. olive oil

1 shallot, chopped

1 garlic clove, chopped

fresh corn kernels, cut from 4 ears of shucked corn

salt

pepper

Heat butter and olive oil in large skillet.  Add shallot, garlic and a dash of salt.   Stir frequently on low heat until tender, about 2-3 minutes.  Increase heat to medium-high.  Add fresh corn kernels and cook, stirring often, until tender and nicely browned, about 5 minutes or more.  Season to taste with salt and pepper. Serve.

UFO COOKBOOK “KJB COLOR BOX/ Alien inspired” episode from Akuokuo Vallis on Vimeo.

sauteed cornkokiko

jillie-b by Akuokuo Vallis

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