Tag Archives: applesauce

Ape House (Applesauce)

Marcia Flemming has no patience for people who claim they have been abducted by aliens from outer space, or any such nonsense.  “I consider myself a rational person,” she says as she tosses an apple slice to Lulu, a beautiful jet black 5 year old female ape.  Marcia Flemming is her caretaker.

Marcia has taught Lulu everything she knows.  Even sign language.  This is how they communicate.  This is also how Lulu told Marcia  about her travels to outer space and the many extraterrestrial visitors that have visited her inside the ape house at the zoo.

“When Lulu first started mentioning all this stuff, I thought someone had brought in a television and maybe showed Lulu  a few too many alien shows.   But when I noticed a change in her eating habits, I knew this was more than just t.v. talk.  Something must have truly happened to Lulu.  I believe her alien stories.”

Marcia described an afternoon 3 years ago, when she was ready to feed Lulu lunch.  Reportedly, Lulu stood up on her legs and lifted her hands and head upward.  She then signed a message to Marcia that Marcia knew she must have mistaken.  “You say aliens, little ladybugs, came and abducted you and took you back to their planet and made you high priestess of their cooking church?  A cooking church?” Marcia repeatedly questioned her.

Lulu said she didn’t want to go back to their planet because they did weird experiments on her and made her eat all kinds of strange stuff.  Then they asked her to describe what she liked or disliked about the food.   According to Ms. Fleming, Lulu is also a master of “far-sight” or “remote viewing.”  She can see distances not normally possible without high powered lenses  — distances that are thousands of miles away.  Lulu says she can see that the aliens are making their way back to Earth.  They want her to travel the universe in their “High-Priestess-of-the-Cooking-Church” lecture tour.  Lulu is so afraid of these aliens that she has  asked to be bleached white.   She wants to hide in the polar bear exhibit until “the aliens find some other high priestess to pick on.”

As Marcia related the story, Lulu started breathing very heavily and beating her chest.  She smeared applesauce all over herself and  hid underneath a white floor mat.


4  granny smith apples, peeled, cored and chopped

1/2 cup water

3 Tbsp. sugar

Place chopped apples in a saucepan.  Add 1/2 cup water.   Stir in sugar.  Bring to a boil.  Cook on medium-low heat for 15-20 minutes or until tender.  Remove from heat.   Mash apples with a  large fork or potato masher.  Add more sugar, if desired.  Can be served warm, room temperature or cold.


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