Reality TV (Cranberry Relish)

In traditional alien arranged marriages, families do extensive research on each other  before popping the question.  However, on the new reality show,  Love TV,  it’s the producers who conduct the  background checks —  everything from college grades to favorite colors.  “Medical tests are compulsory.  But we also find out whether the future in-laws prefer the girls to cook traditional food or not.  Cooking ability is always a priority for aliens.  In alien arranged marriages, you don’t just marry the person, you marry all the culinary habits too,” said Sid Boiyt, the producer of Love TV.

Foe Gonga, a popular alien movie star, is the show’s host.   “A lot of people were so shocked to find out that I too had a traditional alien arranged marriage.  I could have dated anyone — from any galaxy.  But, I am a traditionalist at heart,” says Gonga.  Although, Mrs. Gonga claims to be a traditionalist, it was recently reported that in her household, it is not she but he who does all the cooking.

“The truth is, I love to cook– but I just do not have the time. I am so lucky that my dear husband, Mr. Sleevlok Gonga, enjoys pampering me with all the wonderful delicacies I crave.  He makes the best cranberry relish!   My home life may not be totally  traditional, but I still have a lot of fun with the show,” stated Mrs. Gonga.

Even though Love TV  has been number one for the last 9 weeks,  there are still critics.  One anonymous viewer wrote, “Why would an attractive, educated girl want to be ridiculed and pecked over like last night’s dinner by a series of random men?  The modern world has no use for such nonsense!”

In response to the criticism, the producer, Sid Boiyt, said, “Some of us would rather pretend that alien arranged marriages do not exist, but we all know that they do.  Why not make the process entertaining?  It’s a no stress, win-win.  Plus you get to sample the cooking without any obligation!  Who wouldn’t want that?”

Cranberry Relish

1 (12 oz.) bag fresh or frozen (thawed) cranberries

1 navel orange (zest from the orange plus orange slices without pith and peel)

3/4 cup sugar

dash of cinnamon

In food processor, process cranberries, orange zest, orange slices, sugar and cinnamon until finely chopped.  Place in bowl or plastic zippered bag.  Refrigerate overnight or up to 3 days before serving.


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